it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
