I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
