butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
