She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
