No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
