he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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