i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
