This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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