i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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