I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
