He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
