so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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