I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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