lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
