apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just found puke in my bra..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
