he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
