69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Girls should come with a carfax report
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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