This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
