I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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