thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
