I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Everyone says I win the strip club
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
