If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
