You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
