She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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