Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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