we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize