We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
