It was confusing and full of hummus
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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