Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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