You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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