I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
