this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
