If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
