I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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