An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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