Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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