I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
