I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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