i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
