i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
