Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize