I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
