Will you blow on my dice?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
