The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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