so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize