Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
