So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
