is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
