Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
