so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
