I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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