I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The adults are the big ones right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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