Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
