Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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