So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
