we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
