dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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