You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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