i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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