just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
