yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
