Moan for me like Helen Keller
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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