Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
