i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
