Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize